Wine and Cartoons

Living Life on Limited Sleep

I blame the horses

Written By: andrea - Jan• 16•12

Madeleine has recently developed a whole lot of courage. Or rather her really sassy attitude is coming out full force. After years of ignoring people when being asked questions, she has suddenly started answering people. I give a lot of credit to her riding instructor Marie. Marie doesn’t take any crap off the kids and doesn’t care if the kids are shy. They need to learn to ask questions and speak up during lessons. So yeah, I have been feeling proud of Madeleine’s new voice. Unfortunately, the talky version of Madeleine came to bite me in the ass. She had a dental appointment to have a cavity filled two weeks ago. I was nervous about how she was going to handle the filling so I gave the go ahead for her to get laughing gas. Yeah. Madeleine + laughing gas=family secrets. The dentist fitted
her with the “mask” for the laughing gas and then asked Madeleine what she did over her weekend. Her reply?

“My mom had a horse fart on her head”. Ah thanks Madeleine. Glad you are so chatty now.  Madeleine didn’t even explain the whole story. She made it sound like I was just hanging out behind the horse. I promise I wasn’t. I was actually cleaning the hoof of the horse she was going to use for her lesson. I made sure to clear all that up quickly with the doctor. Really quickly.

 

The New Principal

Written By: andrea - Jan• 07•12

Aiden and Madeleine love their principal. In fact the whole school loves her. She has earned the love through her crazy stunts to promote learning. The poor woman has been duck taped to a wall, hit with a pie, and eaten grasshoppers. I think the grasshoppers were covered in chocolate so it’s not that horrible. You might not think throwing a pie at someone would encourage children to perform well on math tests but…A pie in the face is really awesome.

 

School has been going well under the guidance of the principal. Life was cheery for all the lovely children. Until three weeks ago. Three weeks ago the bottom fell out. The fantastic principal had to have minor surgery which put her out until the 9th. Hopefully.

Cue grumpy old retired substitute principal. He has taken the place of the beloved principal. This sent the kids into a tizzy. An absolute frenzy of kid anger and kid resentment. Wild rumors are flying around about this man. Apparently he hates kids, makes everyone walk in straight lines, yells at you randomly, and even insists on silence in the lunch room. Gasp. I’m all like suck it up kids you didn’t have my mean first grade teacher. She was really something to fear.

Right before winter break Aiden was refusing to go to school. I questioned him as to why he didn’t want to go to school. This is a snippet of our conversation.

“Aiden, why don’t you want to go to school”?

“The principal is so mean. He told me to hurry up at my locker. Why would he do something like that”?

“Well because you can move very slowly, but you are still going to school”.

“You would send your son to a school where the principal hates kids”?

I could smell utter nonsense at that statement. But I pretended to look shocked.

“WHAT? He told the students that he hates kids. Oh my gosh. I have to call the school board about that. That’s not even legal to say that”.

As I was grabbing for my phone Aiden looked rather uncomfortable…

“Ah mom, I was hoping to keep this just between us”.

“But he hates kids Aiden. Who did he tell this to”?

“Um, one of the kids in before care. And those kids know stuff. They are at the school first”.

Right that clearly makes you know stuff. Being at the school first. Let’s just hope the principal returns before the kids know anymore “stuff”.

Merry Christmas

Written By: andrea - Dec• 31•11

I have been so so lazy about writing. It’s just that every time I try to write something distracts me. So in the past month we had Thanksgiving. That was cool. There was mashed potatoes and a turkey involved.

Right now we are enjoying the Christmas holiday with family. When we fist arrived in Michigan it was stressful for the adult because the snow was nonexistent. Stressful because all we could hear from the boy child was his wish for snow. I was about ready to dump flower on the ground and tell him to sled down that. A day after we arrived we had a dusting of snow. Just enough to make sledding worthwhile. It was all they needed. Christmas passed by and now we are looking at a New Year. I’m interested to see what the New Year will bring.

New Year’s Day:  Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.  ~Mark Twain

 

My Favorite Story

Written By: andrea - Nov• 19•11

This has to be one of my favorite kid stories. Seriously its that good. A month ago Aiden came down with the ear infection that never seemed to go away. His fever was high and it was really worrying me. We ended up at the doctor and medication was prescribed.

Later that day, I stopped into see his teacher while I was picking up Madeleine from school. One of Aiden’s best buddy’s was in the classroom as well. In the middle of me explaining to Mrs.B about Aiden’s ear infection, his buddy (I’ll call him Buddy) piped up with his own opinion about the illness.

Buddy: “Mrs. Aiden’s mom. I think I know what’s wrong with Aiden”.

Me: “You do”?

Buddy: ” Yes, I think he has the Aspergers”.

Me: I actually said nothing. I was speechless.

Buddy:”Another friend on the playground has the Aspergers and he is always playing with Aiden. I think he gave it to Aiden. You should tell the doctor.”.

Me: Yeah, nothing. Still speechless.

At this point Mrs. B was horrified and was trying her best to explain to Buddy that you can’t get Aspergers from anyone. I thanked Buddy for caring about Aiden and I let him know that he just has an ear infection. I can tell you right now that I laughed pretty hard on my way out of the school.  A seven year old diagnosing his friend with a disorder is really something else.

Very simply explained, Aspergers in on the Autism spectrum. Having a child on the spectrum is life consuming. My best friend has a son on the Autism spectrum. After years of watching her fight to keep her little guy healthy, we have learned that sometimes you have to laugh. And laughing at a seven year old diagnosing his friend with Aspergers is really very funny.

 

 

We enjoy burning things

Written By: andrea - Nov• 17•11

I took the kids to grab some breakfast out last Sunday. It was after Aiden’s 7am hockey practice and I wasn’t in a mood to make anything when we got home. As we were leaving the drive through Madeleine commented that it smelled like a fire.

Madeleine: “it smells like something is burning, mom. Momma it smells like something is burning. Mom, did you smell it? It smells like Doodah when he is burning something”.  You might wonder why Madeleine likes to repeat the same sentence in different ways until we scream at her? I have no clue but it’s one of her more endearing traits. You might also wonder why my dad burns things. He doesn’t. All the time.

Five minutes later this conversation happened as I went to buy the Sunday paper.

Madeleine: “Mom, what are you doing? Are you buying a newspaper mom? Doodah likes newspapers”.

“Yes he does, he likes to read them in the mornings”.

Madeleine: “No, he likes them so he can start a fire in the backyard:.

Now my dad just looks crazy. He only builds fires when they need to burn trash. Like boxes and papers… This doesn’t sound any better.

 

 

I’m At Target

Written By: andrea - Nov• 12•11

No really, when you are reading this I am most likely at Target.  Aiden has been struggling with an ear infection for a month now. Last Monday the doctors gave us a prescription that has been (finally) working very well. He went to school Wednesday after being off Monday and Tuesday. By Thursday I assumed we were in the clear as far as ear infections go. Thursday…not so much. I was early picking Charlotte up from school so I hung out in the parking lot reading gossip on my phone. The school called. I have the school nurse in my contact list after three years of Aiden incidents.

“Mrs. Jones, we have Aiden here in the health room. He seems very pale and says he doesn’t feel well”.

Me: “I’ll come and get him, let him know I am getting Charlotte from school and I will be there in 20 minutes”.

Nurse: “Oh, you aren’t at Target”?

Me: “What? No?” Totally confused at this point.

Nurse “Aiden said I could find you at Target because that’s where you usually are”.

Kids do not keep secrets.

Halloween

Written By: andrea - Nov• 09•11

Was completely insane this year. In the past I had been known to utter the words, “I’ll never spend my weekends running around from one kid activity to the next”. I think that the next time I start a sentence off with “I’ll never”…, lightening should strike me.

Thankfully, my cousin was in town to lend a hand, although I have no idea why she even comes here. We put her to work the entire time. I don’t actually put her to work but the kids give her enough to do.

The Friday before Halloween Aiden had hockey practice. After practice we went to Halloween event number one. The next day were kid activities two and three. Sunday Aiden, Keith, and I were off to hockey by 6:00am. Cousin Lindsey was staying at home with the girls to “sleep”. But Charlotte woke up before we left for the rink and got into bed with Lindsey. Needless to say by the time we got home from the rink the “girls” had been awake long enough to make pancakes, get dressed, play school, and have a snack. Yeah, no one slept in.

Our afternoon activities included dressing up Madeleine’s horse that she rides and dropping off Aiden at a birthday party. By the time the actual event of Halloween rolled around, I was over it. I sat inside and stuffed mini candy bars in my face. I made Cousin Lindsey and Keith take the kids. I pretended like I get so much joy out of giving candy to the neighbor kids. That’s a total fib, I see those kids dressed up and looking crazy all the time. I just wanted to horde Butterfingers in peace.

Wondering about dressing up a horse? Best part of my weekend. Madeleine takes riding lessons at this wonderful farm. The horses are amazing and incredibly calm. The kids had a Halloween contest which involved decorating a horse and then making the poor horse walk in a horse parade. Or in horse world “they feed my tons of carrots and do crap to my mane and tail”. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.

Stop with the picture taking and let us get candy

 

Forcing dad to dress up.

 

The Lion and his tamers

 

Gatsby the horse and his cape

 

The Poor Horse that was a Cow

 

Madeleine and Lily with Gatsby and his cards

Tonight

Written By: andrea - Oct• 21•11

Everyone is quiet, as of right now. The older two each have a friend over for a sleepover and it seems to be working. Four kids, popcorn, and a movie. Granted it’s an incredibly dumb movie (The Zoo Keeper) but whatever, it works. I think we have about five more years of both of them having sleepovers at the same time. Today I realize that having a boy and a girl one year apart in high school could possibly be a giant pain in the ass. I will have to limit the contact of the opposite gender. Maybe when Aiden has a friend over we will lock Madeleine in her bedroom. It will be awkward at first but then she will get used to it. Same goes with Aiden. I think constant avoidance of the opposite sex is perfectly normal.

 

Until then the following conversations was had by the girls tonight.

“Tomorrow let’s color on my easel and then put some make up on”

and the boys…

“Hey Aiden I can totally burp the alphabet”…

 

And they want nothing to do with each other…

Happy Birthday Madeleine

Written By: andrea - Oct• 12•11

 

My dearest Madeleine,

 

It’s really hard for me to believe you are 7. I am not entirely sure how it happened or where the time went to.

They say the youngest never has any pictures taken. Not in our case. But Trying to get you to pose for a picture by yourself is really impossible. I think you are convinced the camera will steal your soul. It hasn’t happen yet but we don’t like to take chances.

We are so proud that you have continued and really improved with your horse lessons. Watching you care for the a horse from beginning to end is really cool. Your riding is really great and you are very brave when you take control of the horses. Especially your favorite horse who really just likes to eat and doesn’t like to follow directions.

I’m happy horseback riding stuck with you. I made the grave mistake of enrolling you in soccer camp when you were 4. You would only wear your Barbie shoes. I tried to tell you that you wouldn’t be able to kick a soccer ball wearing heels. Except you could and after being successful at it you sat down and watched the rest of the week.

As far as Aiden and Charlotte are concerned you are the boss of them. You have no issues yelling at Aiden to get dressed, brush his teeth, or put his coat on. And Charlotte rarely makes any decisions without your prior approval.  I am pretty sure you plan on keeping her with you forever. Which is a little Single White Female. I realize you won’t get the reference now but I will explain it when you are 15.

You started your morning off by talking to Doodah. He said happy birthday to you. You said, “I hope my mom doesn’t burn my cake this year”. For your information I did not burn your cake while baking it. I melted it the next day because I was storing it in the oven and forgot it was in there. Big Difference.

We hope your birthday is everything you want it to be.

We love you Madeleine, enjoy today.

Madeleine and Beth

 

Sitting with Bear. You loved the heck out of that stinky dog.

I think you were fighting for some cause.

 

 

One of your first pictures together.

 

My favorite picture

You with your Doodah

Family Game Night

Written By: andrea - Sep• 16•11

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Family Game night is something everyone enjoys except for me. I come from a long line of anti game players on my dad’s side of the family. I try enjoy it. But I just sit there waiting for the game to end. Aiden and Madeleine love playing games. Love it. Keith enjoys them too. This I’m thankful for because it allows me to hide from my family until the game is over.  The game players have even brought charlotte to the dark side. Damn it.