Archive for the ‘Life Comments’ Category

Kid’s Activities.

Saturday, May 17th, 2014

All three of the kids have activities. I feel like parents are really taking their kids activities to a level that’s higher than necessary and I always worry that I will become like them.  I think if I keep following the lead of my kids then I will keep myself under control and not get caught up in activity fever. The girls do gymnastics one day a week and neither is interested in being on a team or competing. This is something I can completely understand as I was never a fan of competing. I liked learning to do different skills because it was fun.  Competing? Yeah, no. I was terrible at it. I would freak out before a meet, during a meet, and after a meet. I was a complete headcase. I’m afraid that they would also become headcases when they competed because I’m pretty sure I passed on the headcase gene. Madeleine’s other activity is horseback riding. Again, she rides one day a week and has been for four years. She just started jumping a few months ago but she is taking it very slow. Like really slow. She will only jump over flower boxes and do not mention cantering. No thanks she is just fine trotting. No need to be all extreme or anything. She is thinking about doing a show in the fall to get a ribbon and candy. I also get that too because I do like candy. This year we added another activity for Charlotte. She began taking dance classes. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out for her because she usually likes to copy Madeleine. Madeline however, has no interest in being a  performer. Charlotte went for it and began taking classes on her own. She seems to really love. Her costume for her June recital is hanging in her closet and her dances are being practiced. We had a meeting at the dance studio to go over details for the June recital. I was amazed at how serious these parents are. The studio is giving a class on how to do buns because a lot of moms are worried they won’t get it right. It’s a bun people. Pony tail, twist, pin it. Seriously. A class on how to do buns. I maybe have entered the dance twilight zone.

Aiden had try outs for travel hockey a few weeks ago. We never pushed him into trying out for the travel team, it was something he wanted on his own. During the process, I watched a lot of parents take it very very seriously. I found myself becoming nervous about the whole process. It seemed like the coaches knew ahead of time who they would pick. However ,through communication from the coaches it was believed that Aiden had a shot. Instead, it went in a whole other direction. Aiden would be playing on the rec league with limited playing time. I have always been a fan of him playing at the rec level. What began to worry me was that he would be on of at least three goalies on one team.  It looked like he would be playing every third game at the most. When I discussed my concerns with one of the coaches we were told to go elsewhere if we wanted Aiden to get playing time.  As a four year member of the hockey club, this was upsetting. I didn’t want Aiden to play at a club where the focus seemed to be on winning and not on learning. Again, this is my perception and nothing that was ever verbally stated. We choose to move Aiden to a club closer to our house where he would get a decent amount of playing time and learn a lot in the process.

I’m beginning to feel like an idiot for spending so much time taking the kids to these activities. I guess if I’m an idiot then there are a lot of idiots with me shlepping our kids from one thing to the next. I   justify this behavior  because they like their activities and we always put school first.

 

Now if you will excuse I am going to go watch Dance Moms and Toddlers and Tiaras.

 

 

A failed attempt at hockey

Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

I attempted to take the kids to a Navy hockey game. They were playing Michigan State’s club level team. Navy fans are very uneducated about the Big Ten. They actually had the game listed as Navy vs. Michigan. This was upsetting to myself and to Aiden. I casually mentioned the error to the ticket desk. They looked at me like I was loony. No, the loony comes later.  It was really fantastic to pay $11 for four tickets for college hockey.  I was arrogant. I assumed the night would be smooth sailing.

It immediately went down hill. Charlotte was hungry and completely acted like she never had dinner.  Since we were standing behind State’s goalie I told her to wait until play had stopped before we got food. She was hungry right then. Right then she needed to eat because I have never given her dinner and she needed dinner oh and her dinner needed to be candy. Yeah, I got it. She was hungry and she was attempting to trick me into a candy dinner. Before I could give her the business, a bunch of midshipmen came in with noise makers.  They stood next to us and began taunting the goalie. This sent Aiden into a quiet rage. I began talking him off a ledge while trying to get Charlotte to wait for a snack.I had two code red situations. I needed to stop Charlotte from acting like a punk and stop Aiden from freaking out on the Navy. I asked Aiden if he could hear me when I stand behind him and yell during games. He said he couldn’t, so I told him State’s goalie couldn’t hear the Navy punks yelling at him. Praise all that is holy the period ended and I was able to get the kids some dinner. It was just in the nick of time because we almost lost Charlotte to chocolate starvation.

OK, period two. We sat in the bleachers close to the boards so we could watch the action around the net. My other big mistake. We were right next to a group of Navy youth hockey players. Players who were yelling shit at State’s players as they came off and on the ice. Now I was pissed. First, you are wearing your team shirts which means you should behave in a semi respectful manner. Also, Youth hockey players shouldn’t give college hockey players shit about their skills.  They were punks. So I opened my mouth and told them to knock it off. Then they told me Michigan state sucked and Navy was awesome. Where were these kids raised? A barn? Entitled punks.  I loudly said to Aiden to ignore the kids because there was no way Navy could beat our Big Ten team. That got their attention. They shut up after that. Then the ref gave my kids a game puck and suddenly the Navy kids were nice and offered to take the puck off of our hands. What was with those kids?

After that we were done with the game. Done. State wasn’t doing so great and Aiden had developed a grudge against the entire Navy. The kids and I left. I noticed a coach bus from an Owosso bus company but the kids seemed to think me asking the drive if she was from Owosso was humiliating.

We still had hope

We still had hope

Hope was lost

Hope was lost

Again, hope.

Again, hope.

 

October 8th Randomness

Tuesday, October 8th, 2013

I’m sitting here sitting at my computer listening to Windham Hill and eating raw green beans. Writing these college papers has turned me into my dad. You know, snacking on weird crap, listening to new age music and writing education papers. I am supposed to be writing a paper on teaching phonemic awareness to beginning readers. I believe I mentioned how hard it is for me to write formal papers. In the past I  have had allergic reactions to editing so I try very hard not to do it. I usually wait for my friends and family to shame me into fixing my errors. My classes are almost over for the term and I will be relieved. I was totally in over my head taking two at a time. I think for the spring I will stick to one class. I do like to tell people I am working on my masters degree, I sound way more amazing than I really am.

The past month I have been doing something I swore I would never do again. I’m back teaching gymnastics. Don’t worry, it is just parent/child classes. There is no way I’m spotting those big kids any more. I’m pretty sure they would kill my back. And I’m way too lazy as well.

Madeleine turns 9 this week and wants a slumber party…but that’s a whole other post.

 

September 1st

Sunday, September 1st, 2013

I was going to back away from blogging now that the kids are older. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to embarrass Aiden and Madeleine. I already cause them enough humiliation in everyday activities. Also, its been hard to write without someone looking over my shoulder. I really hate it when people are reading as I am writing. Anyway, Aiden and I read my blog a few days ago. We were looking over old posts from when he was really young. He told me to keep writing so I’ll keep writing.

Charlotte turned 5 this summer so I owe her a happy birthday post. Aiden turned 10 so he needs a post as well. I turn 37 and I will not write myself a post. The kids and I spent three weeks in Michigan this summer. We visited Northern Michigan were it was freaking cold and terrible swimming weather. Charlotte also had her first day of kindergarten so I’ll write a post about that day.

I had three different posts planned for this morning but the kids keep asking me to do ridiculous things for them like feed them lunch.

Working

Saturday, February 9th, 2013

I started working full time three weeks ago. I hadn’t planned on working full time but the opportunity presented itself so I jumped on it. I have been trying to find a job with the local school district for awhile. It’s been really challenging for me to find a position within the district. My teaching certification is expired and that is going to be a pain in the neck to reinstate.

I had a brief conversation with the principal of the kids elementary school. She found out I used to be a teacher and then offered me a job. She lured me in with the promise of “terrible pay and no benefits”. I took the job and am considering it my “paid” internship. I’m a teacher’s assistant with the special education department. It has been a huge learning experience so far. Already, I know I want to become certified in elementary special education. Elementary students are so much nicer than the high school students. I have been working for three weeks and not of of my students has tried to kill me yet. That wasn’t the case with my last teaching position. I seemed to have had that effect on my students. Let’s hope I broke that streak.

 

 

Silence

Saturday, December 15th, 2012

Until yesterday morning I wasn’t feeling into Christmas. I have a hard time around the holidays and I have never been sure why. I end up really moody and weird. Maybe it is because of high expectations and then the reality after the event? I can picture how everything should happened and when it doesn’t I feel off kilter.

I don’t feel that way any more. I could care less how the holidays turn out as long as I have my kids. My head won’t wrap around yesterdays events. There won’t ever be any explanation that could possible have it make sense. Blaming and finger pointing will not solve anything.  I would give anything to give the parents something, anything to help. There is nothing.

I am going to spend more time living in the present moment. I’m going to spend more time listening. Even if it means I have to listen to my daughters play ninja warrior with their Ken dolls. Especially that.

November 2009

November 2012

 

Working or Not

Friday, November 30th, 2012

I need to think about going back to work. How vague is that? I have worked various part time jobs since I left full time teaching nine years ago. I like to tell people I have been on maternity leave for nine years. Of course, when someone doesn’t laugh at my joke I am completely annoyed with them for not appreciating my comedic genius. Sooo, I am beginning the process of going back to work. Ok, not that staying at home isn’t work, it really can be work. The flip side is that staying at home offers a very flexible lifestyle. I don’t need to wear decent clothes. I can eat whenever I want. Which is great because I like having the whole eating whenever I want freedom. My co-workers have fur and don’t really talk with me. I think some of the teachers I used to work with had fur but I am not 100% sure of that. I will say that I never had to walk or or let my former co-workers outside to use the bathroom. It is really hard to leave my life after nine years. Nine years of being my own (mostly) boss. It really feels like I am going from one extreme to another.

I think I would enjoy classroom teaching this time around. When I left teaching nine years ago I hated my job. I wasn’t very good at handling the stress that goes along with teaching special needs. I never felt like we accomplished anything. It felt like I was constantly confused or behind schedule. I just wasn’t prepared for my job. I know part of it was the teaching environment but the other part was me. I was young and really inexperienced. Now I am much older and have a lot more life experience. What I don’t have is the kind of teaching experience that would get me hired. My teaching certificates have also expired and I am not getting any straight answers on what I need to do to get it reinstated.

Now I am hunting for something. Something that I am pretty sure doesn’t exist when you haven’t worked full time in nine years. I am allotting myself a specific amount of time to job hunt each day without making myself insane. Well, more insane than I already am. Let’s face it I’m rather nutty and I don’t need job hunting to make me worse.

My Odd Bucket List

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

I have an incredibly odd bucket list. Well, if you know me then it probably wouldn’t seem odd, just normal. I say odd because people usually have these amazing goals on their list. You know, like climbing an ice mountain or wrestling with an alligator. I have these ideas in my head that I feel compelled to accomplish.  I thought if I wrote about it then it would make me accomplish one of them. I am a realist after all. There is no way I am going to accomplish everything on my list. I hate finishing things.

1. Run a half marathon. I completed this one in October. I added it to my list so you would think I was awesome. I will not run a marathon. I see no purpose in running 26 miles. I would become really bored running for hours and hours. Also, I am sure I would die.

2. Speak French fluently. People are impressed when you speak French. Automatically, I will be invited to all the best wine tastings in town. And probably the cheese parties too.

3. I would like to become highly skilled at Pilates. This is probably the most painful goal. Pilates is another form of torture but for some reason I have it stuck in my head that I need to do this.

4. Travel the country in an RV. Will I go alone?  I have recruited my mom. My sister ,she doesn’t know she is doing this so please do not tell her. My Uncle (someone needs to drive the thing) and kids are also going with me. Keith and my dad are refusing to participate in this awesome journey. Haters.

5. I want to have a writing career. I love writing but I don’t do it enough. Why you ask? Because I am lazy and get caught up in trashy television. If anyone has any idea how to write without writing please shoot me an email.

There you have it. My incredibly short bucket list. Come to think of it, I really hate the phrase “bucket list”. It is really annoying. I better add a number six.

6. Find another phrase that means bucket list.

Hockey Season

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

I was terrible at sports when I was growing up. Terrible. I was terrible because I didn’t try very hard. I didn’t want to be noticed or more importantly, embarrass myself.  I had this huge confidence problem and I try very hard not to let my issues get passed along to my kids.

Aiden does not seem to have a problem with confidence. He also doesn’t have an issue with being noticed. His willingness to put himself out there makes me very uncomfortable because I have a tendency to assume he would react how I would. Our kids are not us. So I bite my tongue and follow his lead. Last Friday he had a math project due. The options were creating a poem, a PowerPoint, or a song. The students had to create something to help learn multiplication facts. Aiden wrote a song. A song about multiplying by 10’s. He then volunteered to perform it. This made my stomach roll over in fear. My son was going to be performing a song he wrote for his entire class. What if they laughed at him? What if he got nervous and forgot the words? What if, what if, what if????  Aiden also decided to bring his guitar in to play as he sang. How many times has he sung while he played the guitar? Oh that would be none. By this point I was mentally freaking out. I give myself credit for calmly watching him walk into the building with his guitar.  His teacher wrote me an email to tell me he performed well and the kids loved it. Of course they did. I feel guilty for not having more faith that it would go well.

Aiden is also goalie for his hockey team. There is nothing under the radar about that position. He is out there the whole time. How long has he been a goalie? Oh yeah. Never. Never until this year. But Aiden was like put me in the equipment and I will figure it out. I was sure I would hyperventilate during the first game when he let several pucks into the net.  He handled the loss well and moved on.  I would have hidden in my room until the next season.

So I struggle with not putting my issues on my kids and also knowing I am going to have to watch them make mistakes and have failures. Watching your kid experience mistakes is far more painful than going through it yourself.

I haven’t even touched on what it is like to watch Madeleine and Charlotte learn gymnastics. I think I will start showing up at class with a tiny bottle of wine.

October

Saturday, November 10th, 2012

I think it is safe to stay we made it through another hurricane. It wasn’t terrible for our neighborhood, in fact we never lost power. I’m still bewildered that we kept the power on the whole time. Of course, the lights kept flickering on and off. Which, plays serious head games with a person.  I think the kids were a little mad that we did a lot of storm prep and nothing disastrous happened. Every time the kids used the water or watched TV , I lectured them to enjoy modern conveniences while they lasted. I am pretty sure they started using the bathroom secretly because when they would go in I would shout,  “I hope you enjoyed flushing the toilet because we won’t be able to do that soon”.  When we woke up the next morning and we had power I almost felt foolish for my crazy antics. Almost. I am a big fan of my crazy antics so I usually don’t regret them.  Our neighborhood came through the storm in tact and the kids were able to enjoy Halloween. Well, almost all kids. Madeleine became sick an hour before trick or treating so she spent the evening on the couch watching terrible Halloween movies. Do not feel bad for her. Charlotte, Keith, and my cousin Lindsey, took a bag for Madeleine. I honestly don’t think Madeleine minded laying on the couch while her candy was fetched for her. Her costume is stored in the closet until next Halloween. I highly doubt she will want to wear it next year so I bought a costume that no one will wear but whatever. It doesn’t bother me. Much.